Because really, who hasn't wanted a vampire for a boyfriend?

Ok, I have to be honest. I haven't been updating recently, not because I've been insanely busy, not because I haven't had anything to write about, not because the threat of impending term papers are starting to loom dangerously on the horizon and I've been frantically researching and exerting my creative writing energy in that general direction. No, I've been lax in my blogging because...of Twilight.

I must confess, I am obsessed. This past weekend I devoured not only the last two books in the saga, but the unfinished 5th book available on Stephanie Meyer's website. My obsession is so bad, I've even started dreaming in the Twilight world. No, my husband is not figured as Edward Cullen and I am not Isabella Swan, but vampires of a benevolent sort walk around in my dreams. I think usually I am one (but I never get around to hunting).

I don't know why these books hold such a fascination for me. Maybe because I'm not that far out of high school and teenage emo drama sucks me in. Maybe I've harbored a secret desire for a vampire boyfriend all my life without knowing it (sorry, Ben). Maybe I just need a new viable world to escape into from time to time.

Whatever the case, I'm hooked. So hooked, that I'm drooling over the movie release in November, have downloaded Twilight wallpaper for my laptop, and Ben's making fun of me for my obsession (though he's reading the books too, so...there.)

So for anyone who hasn't read these books - read them. They're fun, light, and easily devourable (even the longer ones).

End of the Week

You know how most people look forward to Fridays? To the end of the work week and to a little bit of R & R on the weekend?

That's how I feel about Mondays, my blessed day of rest. Especially on Saturday nights, especially on those Sundays before I preach. Not that I don't enjoy worship, and leading a congregation. But on Saturday night, Sunday looms large on the horizon. I want my sermon finished, the bulletins done, my things for Sunday gathered neatly by the door (because if I don't do it, I'll forget them), the powerpoint finished with the perfect images...and the list goes on.

It's on Saturday nights that I'm struck by the incredible amount of energy that goes into the Sunday morning "event." It's the culmination of the pastor's work week; everything that has gone before has led up to getting ready for that one hour (or hour-and-a-half) on Sunday. Half of our "half-time" status at this church goes into thinking about and planning for worship. And it's on nights like these when I wonder if is really how things should be.

Why is it that the bulk of our time goes into preparing worship and not going out into the community, meeting people, making disciples, forming leaders, equipping the laity? How come so much of what we do is performance based rather than relational? Sunday morning worship rarely facilitates relationship - with God for some, with other people not at all.

But for now, it's about the Sundays and the Saturday nights and looking forward to the Mondays.

Baby Squirrel!

I love fall. There's just something in the air and in the changing of the leaves that makes me glad I'm alive. Last week in NJ, we had a few beautiful autumn days that weren't too cold and so I decided that it would be a sin to study indoors. Drew has a beautiful patio with tables and chairs and a nice sitting wall around a small garden and a fountain, and this was the perfect spot to do a bit of reading before my 4 PM class. Several others had decided that such a spot would be the perfect place to study, and all was going well...until a few of us got distracted by squeaking coming over by the tree. Curious, I drifted over to the sitting wall (along with another student), and discovered two adorable baby squirrels chasing each other around the tree. I got out my camera to take a few pictures, and as I did so, one of the squirrels became just as curious about me as I was about it! It came right over and was trying to climb the short wall, but it wasn't able to make it over the lip. It clung there instead, and I was able to get this great picture that I wanted to share with all of you:



More cute squirrel pics:

Back to Blogging

Blogging for me is a spiritual discipline.  As I've been studying the life of Wesley and his use of a journal these past few weeks in my online United Methodist History class, I've been reminded how useful for me it is to have a record of not just how I've spent my time, but my reflection on and interpretation of those things that are happening, either in the world or in my life.

Granted, a blog belongs in the public sphere and so not everything can be shared.  But a good part of it can be, and I've found that it really does help me process and fit different pieces of my life and faith together.  It also shows me how much I need to start up a paper journal again as well (if my hand has the strength to write for that long!).

Therefore, I am going to be more intentional in sharing my thoughts and reflections, even in the midst of school, church, commuting, learning about Haverhill, and all the other busy things that clutter my life.  I'll post something at least once per week, hopefully twice.   

The Value of a Nickel

The church I serve is across the street from the city's poorest and most dangerous sections; the small part, as the previous pastor told us, gives the city it's bad reputation. Because of our location, we get phone calls once in awhile about people asking for help with groceries or with food. I have to guess that we get more calls then actually make it through to us; since we're not in the office on a consistent basis, I'm sure there are people who call and who don't leave a message. We do maintain a small food pantry that the church goes through every once in awhile to make sure the cans haven't expired, and there are a few folks who donate food to us to keep it stocked. While certainly not put to its best use, it serves a function in the community and there are people who need a bag or two of groceries to tie themselves over until their next pay check comes in who are able to find what they need.

One of my first experiences helping someone out came a few weeks ago. A woman called the church after our Sunday worship service and explained that she needed a gallon of milk for her kids, and explained the circumstances surrounding that need. I told her to come on down to the church and I'd be there with milk for her and her family. I dashed down the street to the Walgreens to get some in time for her arrival. By this time, most of the church folk had left except for my husband and I and some others who were cleaning up after coffee fellowship.

Several minutes later, she arrived bringing her daughter with her and I gave her the milk and showed her back to our small food pantry in case there was anything else she needed. This girl - probably about six or seven - was the most extroverted, loving, joyous, and friendly little girl I have ever seen. Everything in the church she approached with an inquisitive spirit -- "let's see this!" or "can I play with this?" or spontaneously giving hugs to those she saw. I have to say that I was quite enchanted by her spirit of love and acceptance to everyone and her exuberance for life.

While I was showing her around and sharing toys with her, she impulsively decided to share something with me. She was showing off her purse and I was admiring it and wanted to show me what was inside. She pulled out three quarters and one nickel. I admired how much money she had, and she smiled up at me and took a quarter and put it into my hand. "This is for you!" she exclaimed. I was taken aback and a more than a little unsure as to how to respond. After all, this kid I had barely met, whose family was facing difficult economic times, had just given me a significant amount of the money she had to her name. I shook my head and told her she should keep it, but she wouldn't hear of it. Finally, she allowed me to exchange the quarter she had given me for her nickel.

I continue to ponder this unusual exchange. Part of me feels like I should have kept the quarter she had so generously given - like the woman who places all she has into the Temple treasury in Mark 12:38-44, this girl had freely given away her money without question -- in this case to a complete stranger! A quarter, to this little girl, is a lot of money, but she still wanted to give it away to share what she had with me.

The nickel I kept currently sits on my dresser as a reminder of this exchange. It reminds me that even when we have little, we are called to give. It reminds me that a tithe is only a starting place and that we are called to go above and beyond to be good stewards of the resources that God has given us. It reminds me that all that we have and all that we are are to be used at God's disposal. It reminds me that even in these tough economic times, it's no excuse to cut God out of the equation.

I believe that this girl gave me more than just a nickel that day; she taught me a powerful lesson on what it means to give no matter where we are in life, no matter what our circumstances, and no matter how much we think we have that's of worth.

(image from http://http://www.coinfacts.com/nickels/jefferson_nickels/1971_No_S_Jefferson_Nickel_Obverse.jpg)

Getting Wet

Do any of you older and wiser and more experienced pastors have any advice to give a newbie on how to go about a pre-baptismal meeting? In your experience, what has been the line for pastoral concern vs. baptism as a act of worship in community, especially when it comes to issues of public/private baptism?

On a more basic level, what are the things you tend to cover when you schedule an appointment for folks to come in and talk about baptizing thier child? Materials/handouts you have available? Going over the liturgy and what it means?

Taste of Community

This semester, I'm going to get a little taste of what living in community is going to be like. Ben and I are going to be staying with our dear friends Matt and Farrah for one night each week when we stay in NJ for classes. It'll be great...but we're going to have to discipline ourselves in order to get work done, else we're just going to talk, talk, talk until the wee hours of the morning!

I know that I'm looking forward to what living in community is going to look like once we're all graduated and situated together up in Massachusetts. I dream of a common prayer life together, meals together, conversations together, game nights together...and figuring out life together. In many ways, it will be like getting married all over again as we negotiate conflicts and figure out what works and what doesn't and how we live together.

But for now, I'll have to be content with these little bite-sized tastes before we dive into the full-sized meal!

Playing on the Field

This past Saturday, Len Sweet came and spoke to a gathering of New England United Methodist about ministry in this new culture, and about how to navigate the Perfect Storm of postmodernism, post-Christendom, and post-scale. I'll admit, it was nice to have one of my favorite professors on my home turf and experiencing good New England culture, and it was great that some folks up this way could start getting a handle on how we can enjoy the ride as we face these opportunities for ministry here in New England.

One of the metaphors we played with was that of a football team. A football team needs to huddle before a play to make sure everyone is on the same page and ready for the play. The point of the huddle is to make it as quick as possible because the point of the game is to move the ball downfield to score a touchdown, and you can't do that if you are spending all of your time in the huddle.

Within this metaphor for the church, we definitely have a huddle situation; so much so that I think we've forgotten that there's a game going on. It reminds me of watching T-ball, where adorable kids sit in the outfield, making dandelion chains for each other, totally oblivious to the face that there's a game out there that they're playing. When the ball comes their way, they seem surprised, and not quite sure what to do with it. Or when a kid gets a great hit and is a bit astonished and everyone starts yelling "go home!" what does she do but...start running home instead of toward home plate.

We've got to get our heads back in the game -- go back to the play book (no...that doesn't mean the Book of Discipline) and get our signals straight from the coach. That is, if the church wants to continue playing on the field.

The Balance

I like to think sometimes that I have a wide fan-base who wait with bated breath for every new post...but who am I kidding? Right now I'm posting because at heart, I am forever a procrastinator -- not because you are particularly interested in what I have to say right now.

I've been back from vacation for a few days now, and am starting to wonder how the heck I'm going to manage seminary and church and commuting this next year. I ordered books yesterday, and it was like my eyes were opened: "Shoot! I really am going back for another year! Dear Lord..." I still haven't managed to finish my incomplete class this summer, and am half-tempted just to retake it. Bleah. My advice to all of you: never, ever take an incomplete if you can help it.

After seven weeks of ministry, I've realized just how much you have to do in a church. There's work, and then there's....work. On the one hand, there's the Sunday morning ritual and preparing for that, the meetings to go to and the pushing paper around. On the other hand, there's getting folks motivated to study the Bible, to follow Jesus more passionately, to take their discipleship to the next level. I'm struggling to keep the balance tipped more in the latter direction than the former. It sounded so much easier to do in theory than in practice.

Part of it may just be a function of my own level of intense discipleship. I'll admit, some days it's all I can do to get through saying the morning offices instead of praying for the city, my congregation, and my world. And some weeks, my personal Bible study is limited to what I do for sermon prep (which, as they teach us in seminary, is perfectly alright, but I beg to differ). And I have yet to dig myself deeply into the fabric of this community, though both Ben and I have had some great conversations with a few of the local small business owners.

It's a process, of course, but I'm impatient. So is Ben, which makes putting things into perspective difficult. So I'm left with trying to channel this impatience into prayer and into something constructive as we get to know our congregation and this city that God has called us to. I fear that seminary is going to be one more thing to get in the way (time-wise and otherwise) of what God is trying to do through us.

So we'll be juggling a church plant, seminary, church, and sabbath this year. Pray for us!

Olympic Christians

As I prepare my sermon on Matthew 13:44-46 (the treasure hidden in the field and the pearl of great price), my mind keeps getting drawn to the Olympics. In Beijing, athletes from around the world will gather to push themselves to their limits in order to compete for their country, and bring home the gold. Many competitors have been training for this one event for their whole lives, working with single-minded passion and determination to make the cut, make their country's team, and win it all. The gold medal for these people is their pearl of great price, something they've sacrificed for and worked for in an effort to attain.

What is our pearl of great price? What drives and motivates us? Many would say our families, perhaps our jobs or success. But what about the kingdom? How many of us would be willing to sacrifice like that for the kingdom of God - to make God's dream for this world become a reality? Do any of us have that single-minded devotion that drives and compels us to serve God and neighbor with heart, soul, mind, and strength?

But I think that there's more than just this focused drive to achieve that spurs the Olympic athletes on toward winning the prize. There's a love of the sport involved. They enjoy what they do because it brings satisfaction and joy. There's beauty to it as well that motivates their efforts to achieve.

Pearls in ancient Palestine were appreciated not just for their value, but also for their beauty. It's not just that we are driven by need or calling to bring forth God's dream for the world, but that there is something inherently beautiful in it; that God seeks human efforts - as broken and messed up as we are - to create a world characterized by joy, peace, mercy, justice, and love. There is beauty in touching and transforming the life of another, in witnessing two old friends having coffee together, a child playing with her friends, or a man stopping to talk with a homeless person. There's beauty in the small acts that show how God's dream is working to make all things new.

So there is the value of the kingdom - something we are called to invest ourselves in fully, orienting our lives completely around God and neighbor; and something deeply beautiful in being able to witness to and participate in God's designs for creation.

I think we're called to be Olympic Christians - striving and training and giving all we have so that God's dream for the world can come true and appreciating the beautiful ways God works in us and in others to make this a reality.

Both strands are probably too much for one sermon, but we'll see what happens.

Good Samaritan Take 2

In church this morning, Ben led a community exegesis of the Good Samaritan text, and then we did a little skit modernizing the characters. We took the new characters from the suggestions of the congregation:

The Jericho Road? I-495

Priest and Levite: a respected member of our church community and Jimmy Carter

The Samaritan: Manny Ramirez (though it was between him, Derek Jeter, and we heard some people suggest A-Rod as well).

Only in Massachusetts....

Friends? Please?

So - question for those of you who have been pastors for awhile...or just know how to get out into a community:

How do you make friends with people your own age when the city doesn't seem to offer any services for that demographic (especially when you aren't living where the young adults are)? Do you just hang out a lot at coffee shops and pray someone sits down at the table next to you and is reading something interesting? Do you go to the music events and hunt people down? Do you scour facebook for people living in your area and pounce on likely candidates and scream, "I need friends!!!!!"?

Ben and I went out last night; the local arts district was holding a mini-street festival of sorts. The stores were open, there was a band playing (although they bowed out early since they had a more important gig elsewhere), and there was food and ice cream. Some folks were dancing in the streets, having a great time. But most people came in groups, so there wasn't a chance to really mingle and get to know folks.

So far, our best time of connecting with people has been the shopkeepers in the downtown. We go in, talk about how we're new to the area, and most of the folks have been very willing to help us out, get us oriented to the community and whatnot. Perhaps the next question to ask these people would be - "what is there to do to meet people my own age here?"

Perhaps I'll have to make "making friends" a spiritual discipline...

Turnabout's Fair Play

I was driving home from having dinner with my father-in-law at their house (and getting a few bags of fresh garden veggies too!) when I noticed in the fading sunlight the forms of flamingos approaching. "Huh," I thought, "I don't remember there being any flamingos in our neighbor's yard." Except...it wasn't the neighbor's yard. It was my front lawn, littered with very pink flamingos. I guess Westwood has paid me back for all the flamingo flocking I inflicted on the city this past spring as the youth group raised money for Nothing But Nets. Never thought it would happen...but then again, Westwood has a few sneaky and devious people who would do such a thing when they're up in the Massachusetts area!

Why New England is the Best Place to Live

"In fact, New England leads the country in ice cream consumption per capita."

Enough said.

(found at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/New_England)

New adventures

I have to wonder if it is the experience of every new pastor to have at least one situation come up within the first couple weeks that (1) is common enough that other pastors have dealt with something similar but that (2) is uncommon enough that it isn't covered by what an average person normally thinks of when considering parish ministry. My gut instinct tells me that this happens to a good number of green pastors - or maybe I just don't want to be one of the isolated few.

So I spent a good part of the afternoon in the office, mentally and spiritually preparing myself - mostly trying to assure myself that I looked (and felt) pastorly, that I was there to listen and ask questions, and that soon, it'd be over and I could go home to continue working on my sermon for Sunday (which is still, at this hour, very much in process). I also chatted with the copier repairman, who is a very friendly fellow and helped acquaint me to the heavy-duty-more-copier-than-we-need copy machine (it's very, very nice).

So the appointed time rolled around, the copy machine man gone, and...nothing. No one. I waited. Still, no one drove into the parking lot. I don't think anyone even drove by the church on the side streets while I waited in the church office, checking Facebook every two or three minutes to occupy my time.

The end of the story? I went home, frustrated that I spent all this time preparing for the meeting while I could have been writing my sermon while I was in the office. But, also glad to have meet the copier man, who gave some tips on people to meet in the area. And also glad I spent some time getting things together for this meeting; I'm sure it will prove to be very useful somewhere down the line.

And I'm sure there'll be something unexpected to deal with next week.

Settling In

The house is mostly unpacked, thanks to the many people - family, friends, and churchfolk - who came over last Tuesday to help get our house in order. The downstairs is fully done, while the upstairs...well, let's just say you don't want to peek inside our guest bedroom. But other than that, we have a functional house with a few charming oddities and quirks that give it some character. For instance, one of the rooms has windows that overlook the stairwell. We also have what is called a "sleeping room" off of the master bedroom. Apparently, many houses built in the early 20th century had them since there were no air conditioners. It's a room with small windows about bed-height placed all about the room. They're under the eaves, so the sun doesn't heat them, and they help improve circulation for those hot summer nights. Pictures will be forthcoming!

We're also settling in to being pastors of a church - learning about where things are kept in the office, getting to know the community both in and outside the church, and exploring the area. So far, things have gone remarkably well, and we didn't make complete fools out of ourselves the first Sunday (leave it to this coming Sunday, where I'm the one who gets to preach!) In any event, I already have meetings with folks scheduled for tomorrow, a sermon to write, VBS to look after, calls to make, hymns to pick...on top of changing addresses, drivers license, etc...

But today is my day off for the week, so enough of that.

I love science...and I love Boston

I spent a delightful day down in Boston with Ben and the in-laws touring the Boston Science Museum. I hadn't been there for several years, but it was fun to go through some of the familiar exhibits and feed the part of my brain that is still in love with math and physics (and wonders why I left it in the first place).

My favorite exhibit is probably the one dedicated to mathematics, but close behind are the electricity presentation (and playing with eddy currents), the butterfly garden, the cotton-tailed monkeys, and all the fun interactive stations on the lower level. Currently, they have a special exhibit on baseball with all sorts of neat historical artifacts and information...and Curt Schilling's bloody sock from the 2004 World Series. Not nearly as cool or as historic as the bloody garment Gandhi was wearing when he was assassinated that I saw in India, but neat nonetheless.

I am going to love being this close to Boston. We'll be a train-ride away on the commuter rail, and for some of the other attractions, driving into the city won't be too difficult (New Jersey driving has made me rather fearless). There are all sorts of things I would love to do: the Aquarium, Museum of Art, the Children's Museum, catch a few shows, etc... I hope that we get to go into Boston at least once a month.

In the spirit of the science-y day I had, I leave you with a webcomic from xkcd:

Alive. I think.

I blinked, and a month has flown by without me really being aware of it. Finishing up at Westwood, moving in with the in-laws, local pastor's licensing school, annual conference, and catching up with life have occupied my time since the end of May. But now, Ben and I are on vacation before July 1st comes and we are the official pastors of the Good Shepherd UMC in Haverhill, MA and we move into the parsonage.

I'm excited about going into ministry and stepping out for the first time "on my own", so to speak. I'm also, frankly, terrified. I know I'll make mistakes (as will Ben), and I know I'll be busy balancing ministry with school and rest and church planting. But it will be good.

An appointment!

Here is why I'm in the midst of so many transitions right now: Ben and I have an appointment up in New England! We are going to be the pastors at Good Shepherd UMC in Haverhill, MA! Everything is pretty frantic as we try to get all of our paperwork together, finish papers for seminary (but fortunately that's done), and...move out by May 31st. Our lease runs out at the end of the month, and we're going to be living with Ben's parents for a bit before we can move into the parsonage. We're renting a big huge moving truck and heading back north.

I'm really looking forward to pastoring this church. The community seems really wonderful, and honestly, I am looking forward to being back in New England. We still have one more year left at Drew, and so commuting for that year isn't going to be so much fun, but there are two of us. And lots of podcasts we want to listen to. :-)

I'm sad leaving my current church. Westwood has been a great place for me to learn and grow, and they will always have a special place in my heart.

So that's my bit of news!

Friday evening sermon thoughts

I've reached an impasse with my sermon. This is one of those that is struggling to be born, and I haven't had the energy or the willpower to bring it into the world yet. I have two and a half pages, and a few thoughts. I know where I want it to go; just need to see if I can get it there or if God wants something else preached.

I'm looking at John 17 - the whole chapter. I'm struck by how many times during this last prayer Jesus prays "that they may be one as we are one." This oneness has a purpose: so that the world may know of God's love - it's not unity for unity's sake. It's not even about agreement - Jesus didn't pray that the disciples should agree or believe the same things...but that they might be one. That we may be one.

This is the nugget I'm trying to draw out. I'm using General Conference as an example of the apparent disunity of the UMC - the protests and fighting and lack of consensus about issues that deeply divide the church. But deep down...we are still one. We are all still in Christ. We may not understand it. We may not even like it. But we're one...and that means we need to act like it. It doesn't mean that suddenly everyone has to agree, but it means that we have to love our neighbors and each other, transcending disagreements, and look to Christ which binds us together. Perhaps I'll add a bit of Wesley's "A Catholic Spirit" in there.

Arg, but it just isn't coming! Fortunately, I have one more day...