New adventures

I have to wonder if it is the experience of every new pastor to have at least one situation come up within the first couple weeks that (1) is common enough that other pastors have dealt with something similar but that (2) is uncommon enough that it isn't covered by what an average person normally thinks of when considering parish ministry. My gut instinct tells me that this happens to a good number of green pastors - or maybe I just don't want to be one of the isolated few.

So I spent a good part of the afternoon in the office, mentally and spiritually preparing myself - mostly trying to assure myself that I looked (and felt) pastorly, that I was there to listen and ask questions, and that soon, it'd be over and I could go home to continue working on my sermon for Sunday (which is still, at this hour, very much in process). I also chatted with the copier repairman, who is a very friendly fellow and helped acquaint me to the heavy-duty-more-copier-than-we-need copy machine (it's very, very nice).

So the appointed time rolled around, the copy machine man gone, and...nothing. No one. I waited. Still, no one drove into the parking lot. I don't think anyone even drove by the church on the side streets while I waited in the church office, checking Facebook every two or three minutes to occupy my time.

The end of the story? I went home, frustrated that I spent all this time preparing for the meeting while I could have been writing my sermon while I was in the office. But, also glad to have meet the copier man, who gave some tips on people to meet in the area. And also glad I spent some time getting things together for this meeting; I'm sure it will prove to be very useful somewhere down the line.

And I'm sure there'll be something unexpected to deal with next week.

Settling In

The house is mostly unpacked, thanks to the many people - family, friends, and churchfolk - who came over last Tuesday to help get our house in order. The downstairs is fully done, while the upstairs...well, let's just say you don't want to peek inside our guest bedroom. But other than that, we have a functional house with a few charming oddities and quirks that give it some character. For instance, one of the rooms has windows that overlook the stairwell. We also have what is called a "sleeping room" off of the master bedroom. Apparently, many houses built in the early 20th century had them since there were no air conditioners. It's a room with small windows about bed-height placed all about the room. They're under the eaves, so the sun doesn't heat them, and they help improve circulation for those hot summer nights. Pictures will be forthcoming!

We're also settling in to being pastors of a church - learning about where things are kept in the office, getting to know the community both in and outside the church, and exploring the area. So far, things have gone remarkably well, and we didn't make complete fools out of ourselves the first Sunday (leave it to this coming Sunday, where I'm the one who gets to preach!) In any event, I already have meetings with folks scheduled for tomorrow, a sermon to write, VBS to look after, calls to make, hymns to pick...on top of changing addresses, drivers license, etc...

But today is my day off for the week, so enough of that.

I love science...and I love Boston

I spent a delightful day down in Boston with Ben and the in-laws touring the Boston Science Museum. I hadn't been there for several years, but it was fun to go through some of the familiar exhibits and feed the part of my brain that is still in love with math and physics (and wonders why I left it in the first place).

My favorite exhibit is probably the one dedicated to mathematics, but close behind are the electricity presentation (and playing with eddy currents), the butterfly garden, the cotton-tailed monkeys, and all the fun interactive stations on the lower level. Currently, they have a special exhibit on baseball with all sorts of neat historical artifacts and information...and Curt Schilling's bloody sock from the 2004 World Series. Not nearly as cool or as historic as the bloody garment Gandhi was wearing when he was assassinated that I saw in India, but neat nonetheless.

I am going to love being this close to Boston. We'll be a train-ride away on the commuter rail, and for some of the other attractions, driving into the city won't be too difficult (New Jersey driving has made me rather fearless). There are all sorts of things I would love to do: the Aquarium, Museum of Art, the Children's Museum, catch a few shows, etc... I hope that we get to go into Boston at least once a month.

In the spirit of the science-y day I had, I leave you with a webcomic from xkcd:

Alive. I think.

I blinked, and a month has flown by without me really being aware of it. Finishing up at Westwood, moving in with the in-laws, local pastor's licensing school, annual conference, and catching up with life have occupied my time since the end of May. But now, Ben and I are on vacation before July 1st comes and we are the official pastors of the Good Shepherd UMC in Haverhill, MA and we move into the parsonage.

I'm excited about going into ministry and stepping out for the first time "on my own", so to speak. I'm also, frankly, terrified. I know I'll make mistakes (as will Ben), and I know I'll be busy balancing ministry with school and rest and church planting. But it will be good.

An appointment!

Here is why I'm in the midst of so many transitions right now: Ben and I have an appointment up in New England! We are going to be the pastors at Good Shepherd UMC in Haverhill, MA! Everything is pretty frantic as we try to get all of our paperwork together, finish papers for seminary (but fortunately that's done), and...move out by May 31st. Our lease runs out at the end of the month, and we're going to be living with Ben's parents for a bit before we can move into the parsonage. We're renting a big huge moving truck and heading back north.

I'm really looking forward to pastoring this church. The community seems really wonderful, and honestly, I am looking forward to being back in New England. We still have one more year left at Drew, and so commuting for that year isn't going to be so much fun, but there are two of us. And lots of podcasts we want to listen to. :-)

I'm sad leaving my current church. Westwood has been a great place for me to learn and grow, and they will always have a special place in my heart.

So that's my bit of news!

Friday evening sermon thoughts

I've reached an impasse with my sermon. This is one of those that is struggling to be born, and I haven't had the energy or the willpower to bring it into the world yet. I have two and a half pages, and a few thoughts. I know where I want it to go; just need to see if I can get it there or if God wants something else preached.

I'm looking at John 17 - the whole chapter. I'm struck by how many times during this last prayer Jesus prays "that they may be one as we are one." This oneness has a purpose: so that the world may know of God's love - it's not unity for unity's sake. It's not even about agreement - Jesus didn't pray that the disciples should agree or believe the same things...but that they might be one. That we may be one.

This is the nugget I'm trying to draw out. I'm using General Conference as an example of the apparent disunity of the UMC - the protests and fighting and lack of consensus about issues that deeply divide the church. But deep down...we are still one. We are all still in Christ. We may not understand it. We may not even like it. But we're one...and that means we need to act like it. It doesn't mean that suddenly everyone has to agree, but it means that we have to love our neighbors and each other, transcending disagreements, and look to Christ which binds us together. Perhaps I'll add a bit of Wesley's "A Catholic Spirit" in there.

Arg, but it just isn't coming! Fortunately, I have one more day...

RevGal Friday Five - Wait and Pray

Part of the Ascension Day Scripture from Acts 11 contains this promise from Jesus;

"But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.”

Then he was taken from their sight into the clouds, two angels appeared and instructed the probably bewildered disciples to go back to Jerusalem, where they began to wait and to pray for the gift Jesus had promised.

Prayer is a joy to some of us, and a chore to others, waiting likewise can be filled with anticipation or anxiety....

So how do you wait and pray?

1. How do you pray best, alone or with others? Well, I really hate praying aloud (a not so great thing for a pastor, I know), but I pray silently better when there are others around. It helps keep me accountable and focused. Plus, I love the feeling of corporate silence rather than solitary silence (though that's nice on occasion too).

2. Do you enjoy the discipline of waiting, is it a time of anticipation or anxiety? I tend not to wait well. I suppose it's a mix of both...but it really depends on what I'm waiting for.

3. Is there a time when you have waited upon God for a specific promise? Yes! I knew far before my husband did that God had planted something between us.

4. Do you prefer stillness or action? Stillness, for the most part.

5. If (and this is slightly tongue in cheek) you were promised one gift spiritual or otherwise what would you choose to receive? Perhaps this isn't quite a spiritual gift, but I would love to have the gift of extroversion.

Dragging My Feet

I've been so out of touch this semester. I haven't read any blogs, even those that I've really, really wanted to. I haven't talked with friends in ages. I need to get off my lazy butt and call people, e-mail people, write to people, but I'm so tired. Just...tired. And many changes are coming.

I can't write about all of them yet - everything will be official down on this end in a couple of weeks. But it means these next two months will be frantic and hectic, with one small window for a week's vacation. We hope to visit relatives, but honestly, part of me hopes we become vegetables and I have the chance to set the "reset" button.

I've blogged (a little bit) more on http://melissa.bechurchne.org, but I want to play around with the format more. I'm strange like that -- I can't write or put my words out there if I don't have a suitable design or space for it. I'm getting twitchy about redesigning the website (again) because I think there are areas for improvement. Maybe if I redesign it I'll want to blog there more...

...or maybe I'll start all over again. Hah! There's the procrastinator in me talking. I've got a sermon for this Sunday (on Unity of all things...how the heck am I supposed to preach on Unity after General Conference?). I also have a paper for UM Doctrine and Polity on the decline of the Methodist class meeting and how such a system can be reincorporated into church life (my choice of topic). And then a final project for Sweet. And then Matt and Farrah's wedding. And then more sermons and Annual Conference and stuff...

...there is a light at the end of the tunnel. And it isn't a train. I keep having to tell myself that.

So I don't know what has made me so relationally out of touch this past semester. Perhaps I'm settling in tooooo well to married life. Perhaps it's because this church planting thing is starting to take off (I can't remember how many flash trips to New England the four of us made this semester). No matter. I can just try to be better.

A Random Thought

Breakfast this morning with Len Sweet made me think about something.

What if the best preparation for this new kind of church plant we want to do isn't taking a quarter time church or working in a church plant or anything like that...

...but rather working as a barista at Starbucks?

(I have a problem with the fact that they don't have free Wi-Fi, but the question remains...substitute any good coffee shop for Starbucks).

What do you think?

Culture Shock 101

2nd semester is well underway here at Drew, and memories of India are fading fast. I know many people experience culture shock upon returning to the United States after they have visited a poorer country, and to a certain degree I resonate with that experience. What I didn't expect was how quickly I reacclimated to our consumeristic culture. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that I was flat on my back for a few days with a severe cold right after getting back from India, but if I'm honest with myself I know it's an excuse.

I've struggled with this aspect of American life for awhile -- the materialism, the emphasis on consuming goods -- and I was disheartened by seeing aspects of this bleeding over into India. Not that globalization hasn't done some good for the Indian economy, but there are terrible costs as well. With the matter of clean drinking water, I heard one economist say, "If the government can't provide clean drinking water, then what is wrong with Coca-cola coming in to supply that need?" On the flip side, this increasing privatization of public services is adversely affecting the poorest of the poor - those in rural villages and those in the urban slums.

It's not enough to try to be better. Of course, this is a step in the right direction, but by trying to live more ethically in this materialistic, consumeristic culture we are still participating in a system that hurts those who can't do anything about it. What would it look like for us to drop out of the system all together, or to buy from local businesses with ethical practices? To grow our own foods or buy locally, to shop at goodwill or the salvation army for clothes instead of driving out to the mall, to go to the library for books and music (or going to a used book store) instead of buying them new? What would it look like to cut down on what we bought every month, especially if we really didn't need it in the first place? Essentially, what would it look like for a significant number of people to be one level removed from all of this craziness?

I hope that this church plant can be a model for this kind of living, but I know that my husband and I need to make improvements in our life together first. There's a lot we can do before we're close to where we want to be: eat more simply, buy used products, consume less. In fact, we're going to try something different. We're going to not buy anything new (aside from things like lightbulbs or underwear or food...things you need to buy new) until Pentecost. Anything new will have to be given as a gift. It should be an interesting experiment, and one that we would love to get others in on! If you're interested in journeying with us, pray about it and leave a comment!

[Note: Increasingly, I will be posting more often on my new blog site: http://melissa.bechurchne.org. To see the posts of the whole community together, check out http://bechurchne.org/blog/. I'll still be using this site, but we'll see what it morphs into!]

Adventures in India: Part 1

We've arrived safely in India, and have spent the past few days in the Bangalore area. We stayed at the Fireflies Ashram, a place that is dedicated to being an interface between the sacred and the secular in India. They are interfaith, but primarily Hindu. Much of our time there was spent getting over jet-lag, though we visited the Mysore palace and a 13th century Hindu temple in some remote village, in addition to a cow ashram and a lecture at United Theological College in Bangalore.

I don't know hoy I am going to assemble all these experiences and pieces of information together. So much has happened in only three days, and there's so much to reflect upon: poverty, the expanding middle class, different cultural understandings, awkward bathrooms....the list goes on!

So I'm going to try and update when I can, but the internet isn't very fast, the computers are slow, and we get limited time at internet cafes. Plus, writing e-mails to Ben is a priority. :-)

Until next time....

My Sunday

Sundays are always busy days for pastors. I knew this going into ministry, but I wasn't prepared for the full extent of how much of a drain on my introverted system Sundays are. Especially on the Sundays I preach, I'm ready for a nap by 1 in the afternoon (otherwise, I'm ready for a nap by 2 or 3). But there's always more to do - youth group, or a mailing or things to plan - and then there's the hour-long car ride home that somehow morphs into an hour-thirty affair with traffic back-ups on Rt. 22 or Rt. 1 (depending on the route I take). I come home, and the last thing I want to do is do reading for class or write a reflection paper...and the first thing I want to do is either sleep or eat a lot of really-bad-for-you junk food.

Although I am dead tired (from preaching and from watching my beloved team manage an undefeated season), tonight when I go home, I'll be going home to a loving husband who will be taking me out to dinner and to see "A Christmas Carol" at the Shakespeare Theatre. I'm hoping for a more enjoyable time than when I went to see "Henry VI" (Ben liked it. I didn't.) And then tomorrow I'll get to sleep in before starting the day with preparations for India, readings for India, and the dreaded CPE application.

Well, it's just about time for youth group, so that's it for now...

(On a completely unrelated note, I just discovered that I have dried cookie dough all throughout my engagement ring. Nice.)

ARGH

I'll be one of the first to tell you that grades don't really matter in the long run. What matters is the work you put into the class and your understanding of the material, yada, yada yada...except when I checked on my grades from this past semester and got royally angry about my preaching grade because I fail to see how I got that grade (unless I totally bombed my preaching self-evaluation, which I don't think I did). I think I'm going to cool off a bit before I e-mail him, asking how the heck he assigned the grade he did.

Maybe grades matter to me more than I thought they did...even grades from useless classes we have to take.

Trials of a Student #1

Student Health Insurance doesn't cover anything. You would think that since students are prone to traveling (because when else in your life are you going to have the opportunity to do it), student health insurance would cover things like...medicine to prevent you from getting malaria (always a good thing). Instead, students are expected to shell out $167 for 30 tablets, a cost we are expected to pay out of our pockets (in addition to the $1800 for the trip to India, about $100 for all the immunizations and other medications, and not to mention the fees for the visa and the international student ID card and the like). Of course, $167 is nothing compared to the cost of contracting malaria...and it is about $60 cheaper than filling the prescription at CVS or Rite Aid, and $20 cheaper than Target or Walmart.

Yet it is a luxury that I can even purchase these pills in the first place to prevent me from getting malaria when so many people - especially children - die from the disease every single year. Every day, even. Most people living in these places where malaria is prevalent don't even have basic protection - like a mosquito net treated with chemicals to kill the mosquitoes that are spreading the disease. I'm lucky enough to be able to afford this while thousands more suffer.

So instead of griping about the lousy student health insurance that doesn't cover prescriptions, I should be thankful that a drug like this is available for me to purchase and that I have the resources to be able to afford it. I just wish these trips weren't so darn expensive! With all these fees, there'll be no money left for me to shop with...

It was Christmas?

Thinking about this past week, Christmas seemed a little surreal. No snow (not the first time), no heavy-duty apartment decoration except for our little tree (no time and no money), and no time off made the holiday fly by. By December 26th my To-Do list filled a page - and none of them small tasks either! Chief among them are the "pastor's article" for the church newsletter, a CPE application to fini... start (really, if I'm honest), and the one thing that has been currently occupying my attention: writing my sermon on Matthew 2:13-23 for Sunday. Yup, that's right. If anything will take you out of the Christmas spirit, it's the prospect of writing a sermon on this text. I just couldn't help it...none of the other texts really spoke to me, and with the limited time frame, I went with what I felt God might be prodding me to tackle. Thanks, God. You couldn't have given me compelling insight into Psalm 148?

In light of the content of the story, I've been thinking a lot about how Christmas is just a messy thing. It's just not this pristine, sanitary story that our culture (and carols like "Away in a Manger") has made it into. Shamed, disgraced, and homeless Mary and Joseph and Jesus in a smelly, stinking barn with no family or friends to witness the birth, save for a few shepherds (as Luke tells it).

And in light of all the work and business and everything...maybe a messier Christmas is just the thing.

Be the Church!

Once again, I have fallen behind on my blogging (both in writing and in keeping up with posts others have written). This time, it was due to a delightful vacation up in Massachusetts, time with family and friends, completing a class project, and then coming back to NJ with Christmastime right around the corner. Now, the guests are gone (though my in-laws aren't tough guests at all!), and it's just me and Ben again, although I have my fair share of things to do before I leave for India. (By the way, it really stinks that student health insurance doesn't cover the cost of Malaria medicine...)

There is something I would love to share with you all - the website for our class project! The catch is this - it's our first draft for our real church plant proposal. By clicking the link, you will be privy to our first attempt at concretizing a year's worth of conversations and dreams, and if you keep coming back, you'll be able to follow our journey as this church plant proposal emerges and takes life - and be engaged with it every step of the way! So please, visit http://bechurchne.org and be sure to give me feedback (on the content, the form, the design of the website) so that we can improve our ideas going forward and so that you, too, can be a part of our process!

Merry Christmas!

New England = Home

It's nice to be back in New England. For one thing, there's snow on the ground (and there was snow as we were coming up; it wasn't all from the recent storm!). We drove up on Sunday on a (somewhat) impulse decision. We had been planning a Sunday drive northward, but when we looked at the weather, it was supposed to snow/sleet/wintry mix about the time we'd be driving through Hartford and Worcester. No good. However, when we checked again on Sunday, the storm had been pushed to later (around six), and so we decided to make a go of it. We drove up, and encountered no bad weather at all!

Just because I'm home doesn't mean there is nothing to do! We still have to finish our class project for church planting, which will be a website (currently in the works. Check out our intro page at http://bechurchne.org). I have several preparations for India in the works: getting tevas, packing, malaria medicine, etc. There are Christmas gifts to make (I've decided I'm going to try and hand-make all my gifts; we'll see how that turns out...at the very least, I want my gifts to come from sources that don't oppress or exploit people and/or the environment). And, there's the all-important task of resting and relaxing.

Right now, I'm in a process of discerning what I want to do with this blog. I haven't kept it up nearly as much now that I've started journaling more (something that has proved rather fruitful after nearly two weeks). Perhaps I'll move it elsewhere...perhaps I'll discipline myself to cull thoughts and insights from my journal (that are shareable) once or twice each week. I'm feeling the need to go deeper with this than I am at right now. We'll see.

On a purely superficial sports note, I am sooooooo ready for next week's Patriot's v. Jets game. I hope the Pats run up the score...

I'm alive and older

A couple days ago I turned 25 - a quarter of a century years old. I don't feel that much older, but I suppose I now definitively fall into that mid-twenties age range that just sounds old. A grad student, married, in her mid-twenties. Old.

Not really. :-)

I spent the Thanksgiving Holiday with my in-laws, made a vow not to buy anything save for the necessities (like food) on Black Friday, unsuccessfully shopped for shoes on Saturday, and went to a wonderful wedding up at Dartmouth on Saturday afternoon. Then, we drove back to New Jersey, and got in a bit after midnight.

This morning, I went to visit Vision Community Church in Warwick, NY. They are a church plant in the Methodist Tradition, as their parent church is a church in the New York Conference. I have to admit, it was nice to be able to sit back and worship without being responsible for something in the service. Don and Pam Heatley, the pastors of this church, had come in and spoke to our church planting class a couple weeks ago, and I was impressed with what they had to say about their church. Visiting, I was also impressed -- they have hospitality down like no one else's business! Igniting Ministries or whatever branch of the church deals with welcoming people should take a tip or five from Vision. I was well-greeted and introduced to other people in the congregation. They serve breakfast before their services (bagels and coffee, and they also had apple pie and pumpkin pie and other pastry things), and people can bring their food into the services with them. The sermon was great, worship tended towards contemporary (with the music blended and communion at the end).

More later...if I get motivated enough (I need to be more disciplined about my blogging).

Meh.

I'm finding it abnormally difficult to concentrate on this chilly, November morning. Perhaps because it's Monday and normally my day off. Perhaps because I can't seem to get the study warm enough for my fingers. Perhaps because I'm being forced to write a sermon for class and I'm just not into it. Perhaps because I can easily think of five better things to do with my time:

1) Start working on designing a website for our new church. We'd have profiles of us, stuff about our process, videos, etc...

2) Pick out the wedding photos I want edited and polished up

3) Start playing around with some graphics design - specifically, see if I can create a new header for my blog

4) Play Sim City 4 or Kingdom of Loathing (equally good options)

5) Knit or do something else crafty

Instead, I have work to do, because this past week was busy. I have to:

1) Write this advent sermon. It's coming along, and I believe everything I'm putting into it, but it's not coming together. It's half-way done. It would be better if we were actually being taught about writing a sermon and using stories and how to call people to action instead of just the generic blah we've been getting.

2) Do an ethics assignment in which we have to design and outline an adult education course on sexuality issues or sexual orientation issues that were raised in our readings for the past week.

3) Laundry, at some point (Ben and I will figure out who gets that pleasure)

So, I'm working in bite-sized chunks. 30 minutes here, (break), 30 minutes there, (break). All breaks are by rule mindless and things I want to do.


Hopefully, if I get everything done today, I can veg out this evening to Chuck and Heroes!

Once Upon A Time...

I blinked, and November is already well under way. Surprising and a little unnerving, especially since I signed up for NaNoWriMo on a whim and currently have nothing but a handful of the vaguest of plot lines. A couple other friends of mine have signed up and taken the plunge, and I, much like a lemming inspired by their examples, followed suit.

Except I really did have good intentions. Lately, I've been fascinated by stories, and how they shape us and can be used to shape others. As part of our church planting class, we watched and participated in a presentation on the power of stories. It was an insightful presentation, and I learned a lot about what makes a story what it is: the linear story (what happens), the heart story (the emotions...the undercurrent of the linear story), and the archetypal story (the part of the story that appeals to ancient memory). We talked about worldview and meta-narrative and all of that jazz. We spent a lot of time examining different movie clips in this light, focusing especially on the movie End of the Spear. But while I left the presentation feeling like I had learned something about analyzing stories, I still felt that I didn't know how to craft them, tell them, or catch them in the moment of their creation.

Stories tell us a lot about who we are, where we've been, what we hold dear, and where we're going. It was my hope to convey this to my congregation on All Saint's Sunday; it was my hope to collect stories from different people in the church about the people in their lives who were saints to them - be these saints from the church or not. It was my hope to teach that because we are a community, these different saints affect all of us and are a part of our shared history - our shared story - because of their influence on one person. The stories of our saints - both known and unknown - are stories we know and share with each other. However, things sometimes don't go as planned in a church, and I had to scramble to fill up my sermon with other things.

In our visit to Boston last weekend (which I will write more about in another post, I promise!), the director for congregational development suggested we work on developing our story - and have it be one that we can tell in a short period of time (under 2 minutes). This story is not about an autobiographical account of how the four of us came to be in covenant relationship with one another and then felt this call to plant a church - but the why. Why live in community? Why plant a church? Why - other than because we feel God calls us to it?

On a lighter note, my interest in stories have been also fueled by a new Facebook application called Just Three Words. The principle of it is simple: you and all your friends add to a story three words at a time. I've had great fun seeing what people come up with and how all the stories I'm following have taken quite different tones and turns.

These different snapshots of the semester have left me wanting and needing to learn how to tell a compelling story, not just the verbal articulation of it, but the very structuring of it. What piece goes where? What is the hook? Where should it end?